Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering – and it’s all over much too soon.

Woody Allen

I think Woody Allen speaks to the essential dilemma of being human and being alive. Things can be really difficult, we can feel as though it’s not worth it to keep plugging on.  And then again, the whole crazy mess seems magnificent and we’re so glad we’re “still here.”

Those of us who are fortunate to be deep into our survivorship, still around years after we have stumbled out of the treatment rooms, can sometimes feel lonely. I notice this when survivors feel guilty talking about their fears, the sorrows and frustrations that may continue to appear … and reappear .. even after a great deal of time has passed since dealing with a cancer diagnosis. Hidden disabilities can be emotional as well as physical but we sometimes feel uncomfortable or embarrassed to talk about our feelings when others are not doing well. We may detect impatience when we bring our concerns to health care providers who are busy with newly diagnosed patients. Often our families and friends and, indeed, all of those around us, have moved on and forget to ask how we are doing.  That’s just life continuing …

I think that resources for long term survivors are vital. We can be unrecognized as a group that is, thankfully, growing larger.  Forming groups of survivors who are past the infamous 5 year mark could be a way to provide the space to open up discussion and allow for sharing of the long term questions,struggles and joys we face in our post treatment years. Giving people a safe space to tell the changing stories of their lives may be an avenue of connection.  Letting others know that we appreciate when we are asked, “how are you?” is another way to be in contact with one another … a way to lesson loneliness.

I encourage all of us to open up and speak of our experiences … it’s a way to be in touch, both within ourselves and with others. Our stories matter …