This is a short excerpt from the introduction to my book on cancer survivorship.  I offer it as a reminder that even when we feel lost, we aren’t alone. Please feel free to contact me with your thoughts and feelings. Your story is important.

The black angel bending over me in the darkness of the cold, stark hospital room is the last to tend to me. Through an anesthesia haze I see the feathers of her wings lightly waving as she lights beside me. Her wing span touches the bare walls enclosing me as I lay alone in the small metal bed. A breeze blows on my face as I look up into her kind eyes. Having lived with death in the corner of the room for years, this presence is no stranger to me. Has death come for me as this luminous raven woman fluttering in disguise to trick me?

The angel’s wing touches my arm and becomes a hand, gently stroking my arm. She whispers, “I have been through this; you will get through this, too.” In that moment, she became the angel of mercy, the messenger of hope, the women who has traveled the path before me and has reached her destination, alive. Once again I sent death skulking back into the corner to wait.

Not today.

The nurse, the woman, the cancer survivor finishing my care, leaves feathers floating around me as I stare out of the drapeless window to an urban night sky with its wires, flashing signs and empty buildings awaiting the occupants who would arrive at day’s beginning. She would not return, but the touch of her winged fingers and her tale of resilience would remain, would be felt long into the years following this first encounter with the journey of cancer survivorship.

It only takes a few seconds to receive the news that you have been diagnosed with cancer.  Yet, from that point on your world has been changed forever. You enter a vast terrain of uncertainty, isolation and insecurity when you finish treatment for cancer. What is it like to face daily life now that you are someone who has been diagnosed with cancer? Fear of recurrence, anxiety and depression related to uncertainty, along with loss and financial difficulties, as well as concerns around sexuality are all a part of this new territory. You may feel isolated, alone and distressed. You have all the knowledge within you to understand and create your own healing but sometimes you need guidance to help you find where you are and support you in discovering where you want to go.

My hope is that this book will help you find your way through the wreckage of cancer so that when you land on new ground within yourself you will have ways to explore who you are as a survivor of the storm you have endured. No one handed me a map or installed a GPS when I left the treatment room. I just got in my car, drove to a bakery, purchased several pounds of pastry, and went home to start another day. I’ve talked to many people who have had similar experiences. This might sound familiar to you, too.

You can create your own survivorship care plan. It is possible for you to build an inner GPS that you can trust to show you where you need to be. I encourage you to draw your own map of the terrain you have inhabited to acknowledge the discovery of the ways you have been altered by your experience of cancer and document how you want to move on in your life. This deeply personal process of exploration is uniquely your own and does not bear the burden of proof of an evidence- based study nor does it rely on any particular faith- based philosophy. This plan belongs to you.