You didn’t want to have cancer.  When someone asked you what you wanted in your life, odds are good you didn’t say, “hey, I think I’d like to have some cancer!”  And when the waiter took your order I’ll bet you didn’t say, “hmmmm … how’s the cancer today?  Think I’ll try it.”

Yet all too often guilt and self-blame show up for many of us who have been diagnosed with cancer.  Maybe we should have lost more weight and eaten better. Perhaps that second glass of wine was the tipping point.  Is my attitude positive enough?  Did I cause this cancer by some errant behavior or negative thought pattern? Self recrimination replaces self support and we find ourselves being punitive when we are most vulnerable.

Today I invite you to be kind to yourself.  When harsh judgments haunt you and you notice that you are putting yourself down … stop … take a breath ..

Tell those thoughts to take a hike, make them go away and , if necessary, get firm and tell those nasty beliefs to SHUT UP!  It may take some time to change these patterns but it’s worth the time and energy it takes to come to a place where you treat yourself with kindness and love.

You did not cause your cancer.  It’s not your fault.

Buy yourself a flower to honor, respect and love yourself … just because …

This is dedicated to my mother, Dorothea Krauter, who taught me about the kindness of giving a flower to someone  … just because