“A writer out of loneliness is trying to communicate like a distant star sending signals. He isn’t telling or teaching or ordering. Rather he seeks to establish a relationship of meaning, of feeling, of observing. We are lonesome animals. We spend all life trying to be less lonesome.”     –John Steinbeck

When we’re in treatment for cancer we are often surrounded by many people – our doctors, nurses, technicians and various other members of our health care team.  There’s a certain structure we can count on … appointments … treatment schedules … resources available where we are being treated.  We often have contact with others who are going through cancer treatment.  I think fondly of  those people and wonder about them from time to time – hoping they are thriving.  I remember the wonderful guy who parked my car at the cancer center – he always had a smile and kind word.  It’s a community none of us ever wanted to join but it becomes a place where we can find solace and support.

It’s been almost 8 years since I had cancer and since that time I’ve continued to be a part of the community that struggles with cancer.  I’m deeply moved by my contact with those who are in different stages of a cancer diagnosis and the psychotherapy I can offer them.  I’m proud to be a board member of the Women’s Cancer Resource Center in Oakland, California-a place that brings awareness to under served populations, providing all services free of charge.  I’ve learned more about cancer and all the difficulties of services for people who deal with cancer than I ever dreamed  I would know.  It’s all a pretty tough business …

As many of you know, I believe that there is a serious and significant need for cancer survivors, their partners, their families, friends and caregivers to have a way to tell the stories of their experience.  I continue to be the “lonely writer” in my attempts to publish my work around this vital topic.  I don’t believe that we have to be stuck in isolation, filled with thoughts and feelings that want expression.  I trust that we can support one another in our struggles.

What if we, as the patients, stood up and made our voices heard?  And what if all of those affected by cancer, spoke out with their concerns?  I am suggesting that patient-centered care become human-centered care and that we, as those humans, take charge and ask to be heard.

Ask for what you need. Find people who will listen. Demand to be treated like a human being.