I’m about to take some time off…from work…AND from doctor appointments, blood tests, scans and all of the things that we are supposed to do to take care of ourselves. Now it’s time to go on an adventure, see things I haven’t seen before, meet new people in different lands and laugh a lot. My oncologist and I had a little laugh about my request to schedule a scan for after my trip so that I could just go away and forget about everything.
Taking care involves those things we need to do and should do. But I say that it is also important just to go and have fun. So off I go!
Back on August 23rd.
“Consider yourself blessed.
These stones that break your bones
will build the alter of your love.”
by Lynn Park
“Health is more than the absence of illness. It is a process of maintaining a sense of balance between your physical, emotional and spiritual self. Dealing with a cancer diagnosis, disease process and treatment options can be overwhelming.”
Dr. Amy Matecki, MD, MSTCM and Alex Feng, PhD, LAc presented their vision of integrated health care for those diagnosed with cancer as well as for those who are cancer survivors at the Markstein Cancer Center in Oakland, California. Both are involved at the Comprehensive Cancer Center at Alta Bates Summit/Herrick campus in Berkeley, California. They spoke to the benefits of Acupuncture and Qigong in combination with chemotherapy as well as radiation treatment. This program is only at its beginning stages and I will continue to post the news regarding this very important innovation at the cancer center.
Another vital component of Integral Medicine is attention to the emotional and spiritual elements of the cancer diagnosis…and survival. I believe we can no longer separate the body from the mind and the heart when we address healing at any deep level. Attention to our whole being is essential.
Last Wednesday evening I spent time with some wonderful, strong ,and beautiful women at the Davis Street Center in San Leandro, California. I went to speak with them about Triple Negative Breast Cancer(which is the cancer I was diagnosed with in 2007).
I was so touched by their stories and was reminded of the courage that all of us have when we face cancer and the often debilitating treatment that follows. I felt honored to be a part of their support group for that evening.
This reminds me of the power of the group experience. I encourage you to consider group work that deals with having cancer. It’s a wonderful opportunity for community and healing.
Recently I’ve been struggling with wanting to be authentic about how I am feeling and, yet, not wanting to whine and complain about how I am feeling. My sense is that many of us feel this way after we have had cancer. Perhaps some years have passed and we have moved on with our lives…as have others. So when people ask…”How are you?”…well, the response feels complicated.
I’m not saying that I have the answer to this. I do, however, feel like I have identified my dilema. I want to be authentic yet I do not want to list out my ailments and concerns. We’ll see how this evolves.
Connection with others who share a similar situation can create a sense of belonging. It’s scary and lonely to deal with illness all alone. And we can also feel very alone when we are done with treatment. Friends and family may not be as attentive as they were, people’s lives naturally move on, we move on. Yet concerns linger and the need to begin to integrate your experience is important.
Find others to talk with, to listen to, to play and explore with. You can join a group. Attend a workshop that is dealing with the themes that survivors live with in their lives.
You don’t have to do this all by yourself.
Quote by Lao Tse
Moving forward after treatment for breast cancer can feel really confusing. On the one hand, you’re glad it’s over. On the other hand, it can feel tough because the intense focus of treatment is gone and there’s an empty space inside of you that can fill up with all kinds of scarey thoughts and horror stories. Oftentimes the people around you want you to be ok and celebrate. So how come it doesn’t feel like a celebration? Instead you may feel a pressure to reach the “new normal” that is talked about or to quickly find some deeper meaning to the whole ordeal.
I think that it is really important to yield to your own experience, to validate what you have gone through and what you are going through now. It’s not wrong to be afraid of impending check-ups and there’s nothing shameful about worrying whether the treatment actually worked. Accepting our experience and holding it with kindness allows us to find our own clarity. Give yourself the gift of time and space. Take a breath.