“Some survivors report that they later view the trauma as an event that added value to their lives through forced changes (Tedeschi & Calhoun, 1988), whereas others wish it could all be undone, given the sacrifices involved in achieving growth (Kushner, 1981).”

Most of us aren’t rich and famous when we get cancer, the cameras aren’t rolling and most of us can’t really go to the top of a mountain and meditate or spend the next year at an exclusive health spa.  We’re just trying to get though our day, pay our rent or mortgage, make sure the kids don’t go off the rails. Ordinary lives plummet into extraordinary circumstances. I remember laying flat on the table in a dark radiology room, looking at the screen that the radiologist had just turned so that I could see the mass in my breast, saying, “Oh, I’ve got something to deal with.”  She replied, “Yes, I think you do.”   Ok, here I go …

The journey through treatment, as has been discussed, offers structure and, in a kind of hideous  way, gives us a road map and a set of  instructions. After completion of treatment,  physical trauma is often present due to surgeries, harsh and toxic chemicals that have been poured into the body and rays of radiation that have beamed into various tissues and affected bones and organs. The trauma to our body is often extensive and certainly consequential, side effects may linger for years. The trauma that lives in our body can be addressed and  this helps in the release and movement of that trauma. When the emotional memory of our experience lives in the dark realms outside of our conscious awareness it is difficult to understand the complexity of our experiences. Stepping into the light of awareness we become conscious, we find our ground, we move on.

It is important to allow time and space for the healing of trauma.  All too often the push is for symptom reduction without attention to long term concerns and effects.  Because emotions are not easily measured and emotional wounds are not as visible as physical wounds,  this level of recovery can be misunderstood and rushed.  Emotional recuperation is truly no different than recovering from a surgery or  honoring the time it takes for the mending of a broken bone.  Renewal is not necessarily quick and real rejuvenation cannot be hurried.

Excerpt from my book -Surviving the Storm: Helping Cancer Survivors Tell Their Stories